Friday, July 31, 2009

A Postcard From GOOML



Hi Katie, Glogirly here.

对不起,自上次寄出明信片以来已经很久了。在全国范围内旅行时,很难找到良好的互联网连接。

GOOML的牙齿上的虫子比您一生中猫所见到的还要多。当我给她拍照时,有些人还在动。


我想念你,每天都在想你。拜托,拜托,请照顾猫的保姆。再过几天。

Love,
Glogirly

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Postcard From The Edge



Hi Katie, Glogirly here.

I know you're probably getting tired of me reminding you to be nice to the cat sitter. But you should know that Gloman has found a new house that he thinks would be perfect for you and he's threatening to send you away if he learns of another hissing and swatting incident with the cat sitter. So please, please, please watch your step, proceed with caution. If you can't exchange civil pleasantries, just resort to plan B. Hide. She'll only be in the townhouse a few minutes for feeding and scooping.



您知道格洛曼(Gloman),他会让这个新财产听起来非常诱人。他会尝试在孤独和安静的情况下向您出售。他会大量谈论老鼠和鸟类。但是凯蒂(Katie),你真是太文明了,不能住在这样的棚户区里。而且,如果他邀请您一起吃晚饭,您将不知道该怎么办。

所以要好,只有在没人听的时候才享受您的牙龈炎食物。

Love,
Glogirly


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Greetings From Your Girl



Hi Katie, Glogirly here.

希望您和我在度假期间,享受您的和平与宁静。我想念你,每天都在想你。我们与朋友和家人度过了愉快的时光。


这是您的两个加拿大表亲和最大的博客粉丝,Sherri和Sharon。他们来到了一个可爱的小迷你库珀...我知道你真的很喜欢那些车。诚然,他们是狗人。我们都知道您对狗狗的感觉。他们告诉我,他们的狗想拥有自己的博客,但他的作家不如您。我知道,我知道...猫比狗聪明得多。



Here are two more of your Canadian cousins, Aaron and Karen. I know, they rhyme. Karen is Aaron's mom so the rhyming thing is probably her doing. I don't think she was too happy when Aaron told her he got a motorcycle, but he took her for a ride to show her what an excellent and careful driver he is. He even got her a pink helmet. To my knowledge, they don't make helmets for cats so you won't be going for a ride anytime soon.


格洛曼(Gloman)拍了很多照片。他说“嗨”,然后“离开我的床边”。

凯蒂,希望您对保姆好。你真的不应该称呼她为臭臭陌生人...那不是很好。她是个好朋友,尽管有嘶嘶声和抽打声,但她还是认为您可爱又可爱。因此,要保持友善,不要吃得太多,而喜欢裸体跳舞。

Love,
Glogirly

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Alone Again, Naturally



Hi everyone, Katie here.

我已经被遗弃了。 Glogirly和Gloman在某个盛大的假期里疯狂奔走。她说,他们要去的地方没有手机塔,没有互联网连接,没有博客,也没有猫。好痛为什么在地球上有人会想离开家中的舒适,更不用说他们心爱的猫了,在湖上找到第三世界的小屋。我不喜欢水。我不喜欢湖泊。我希望她必须在箱子里拉屎。

So my friends, it's just me and my cat sitter. I got in huge-o trouble last time for hissing and swatting at the cat sitter. I really don't need a cat sitter. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Glogirly insists though. So now I've got some smelly stranger coming and going, messing around with my food and my litter box. She better watch out, that's all I can say. I can tell she's got her own cat. I hear his name is Hakeem. What kind of crazy name is that. I also hear he's pretty big. So to be safe, I should watch myself. Last thing I need is for the cat sitter to show up with this beast.


Glogirly应该在两周后回来帮助我再次写博客。在此期间,我每天晚上都要聚会,赤身裸体在房子周围跳舞。

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Outdoor Eye Candy



Hi everyone, Katie here.

规则,规则,规则。人类喜欢统治世界。作为猫,我被迫遵守我人类的规则。并相信我,Glogirly有一英里长的清单。规则总是关于我的 can't do. Not what I can 做。我讨厌那个。在列表的顶部,紧挨着
永无止境的规则,永无止境的规则。这根本不公平。 Glogirly一直在外面。我只是得到“再见小猫,爱你”“马上回来”的例行程序。我只想打开前门,走出去,把那个再见的废话扔回到她身上。



So I'm forced to see the world through marginally clean glass windows. Now don't tell Glogirly, but between you and me, there are actually a few benefits to this. A warm spot in the sun with a view of passerby birds. A rabbit oblivious to my stares. You see, I'm a voyeur. Most cats are. I can watch and dream without all the messy details of actual contact. After all, what on earth would I do with a rabbit? There's no room in this townhouse for squatters.





因为我是一只令人愉快的猫,并且拥有令人难以置信的积极态度,所以我设法使自己对仅仅室外的眼球糖果感到满意。一些通过饼干窗口流口水了饼干。一些杂志中心展示了大图片。我,我有鸟,虫,兔和我们之间的1/4英寸厚的玻璃。



附言我要感谢Gloman拍摄的鸟儿,虫子和兔子的照片。在那里,遵循了另一条规则。

Monday, July 13, 2009

Houseguests or HGTV?



Hi everyone, Katie here.

I'm a very smart cat. Good looking too, but that's not relevant at the moment. I can put two and two together. I can read the signs. I'm concerned. Actually, I'm very concerned. Glogirly is spending a lot of time in places she doesn't belong. She's been making improvements and tidying up in all the bedrooms and bathrooms that she doesn't use herself. Yes, she's a neat freak. So am I. But this goes way beyond her neat freakishness.



I've already spoke of the downstairs red room being converted to a guest room, bed and all. Well there's more. There's a bathroom down there too that never gets used. Except by me. That's where my litter box is. Out of the blue she's making it all fancy. New photographs hanging on the wall. A new hand towel and a fresh bar of pretty soap. She's scrubbed the floor and tucked my litter box out of view. I've even heard talk of a new rug.



The same kinds of things are happening in the upstairs bedroom and bath. I have a very bad feeling. This is not just your ordinary guest who will come and go within a 24-36 hour window of time. She's making these rooms so nice that I fear we may be looking at a more long-term situation. I simply cannot live in an environment where intruders, pretending to be all friendly and happy, take over my space. How will I get to my food and still avoid contact? How can I possibly navigate a path to my litter box when some stranger is snoring a few feet away? How can I do all this and be expected not to hiss?! There will be no place to hide and I will have no choice but to maintain a 24-7 guard post. I can kiss my napping schedule goodbye.

我只希望这些准备工作无非是无聊地观看了太多的HGTV节目。为了安全起见,我将隐藏遥控器。我会通知你的。


Friday, July 10, 2009

Trading Spaces



Hi everyone, Katie here.

It was a virtual HGTV show in my townhouse today. And I did not like it one bit. Every once in awhile glogirly decides to move things around on me. A chair from upstairs may suddenly show up downstairs. A bed may move across the room. It's all very stressful. These changes interfere with my daily rounds. You see, everyday I systematically walk the townhouse and investigate each room to make sure nothing is out of place. Anything that doesn't belong or has been moved must be inspected. It's incredibly time consuming. But someone has got to do it.

Often when things start moving around there's a great deal of chaos. Chaos makes me uncomfortable. There's the squeaking of furniture feet on the floor. Clutter everywhere while she decides where each thing she's touched will ultimately be placed. Spray cleaners spraying. Vacuum cleaners vacuuming. You're probably starting to get my point. My day has been turned upside down. I have to supervise every move she makes and my napping schedule has been severely compromised.




这个特殊的家庭装修事件持续了一天的大部分时间。它开始于将楼下的红色房间变成客房。客房。我对此感到很不好。至少现在房子里还有另外一张床,我可以帮忙做,留着头发,藏在下面。



It all culminated with the relocation of the most important element of the house. My litter box. Glogirly thought she could make me like it by gushing at me about what a good kitty I am. If she only knew how ridiculous she looks. My box didn't move far, so I'm not going to make a scene. She's got it hidden behind a curtain now so although it's a little dicey getting to it, I at least have a bit of privacy. I'm still going to dig with reckless abandon and spray my litter all over the place. That's the price glogirly must pay for making me poop in a box.



Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Happy B-Day, Blogger



Hi everyone, Katie here.

Blogger即将迎来10岁生日,我想他们想听听所有将网志定为生活一部分的猫的消息。他们想知道什么博客 MEANS to me. What my STORY 是。我不知道,我认为这可能是不受欢迎的收集大量感性运球的方法。或暗中尝试访问我的个人信息。但是我的人类,glogirly,向我保证它是不断上升的。所以去。



I'm a cat. Blogging has obviously posed some unique obstacles for me. The typing is a challenge with my unusually small paws. I've had to resort to the hunt and peck method. Still, my hair can get caught in the keys. The mouse is typically not a problem as long as glogirly goes easy on my manicures and I refrain from eating it. Blogging has also created opportunities for personal growth. I've gained a working knowledge of digital photography and Photoshop. I can snoop on the internet with the best of them. To be clear though, I rely on glogirly for the majority of my imagery. I tell her what I want and when I want it. Just like everything else.



博客让我发出了超越我柔和的尖叫声的声音。我可以用自己的话分享重要的观点和对日常生活的观察。大多数人都不知道做猫是什么感觉。他们只是不够聪明。因此,我帮助他们通过自己的眼睛看世界。阅读我的帖子,他们可以在我的爪子上行走数英里。


Blogging has helped me maintain balance in my life. Not that I needed much help in this department. Cats are known for this ability. We rarely stumble and always land on our feet. Grace is my middle name. I strive for an 80/20 blogging ratio. 80% real life, no nonsense. 20% gratuitous, sentimental gush. This proportion is reflective of my approach to all things in life. 80% leave me alone I'm a cat. 20% loyal, loving companion. Frankly that 20% loving stuff is just an act. And the gush is intended solely for glogirly's benefit. She likes to think there is good in the world. She looks for inspiration through her family and friends. Her glass is always half full.
Me, I'm not quite so naive.



写博客加强了我与人之间的联系。好吧,glogirly让我这么说。我不是特别喜欢任何形式的束缚。只是束带和皮带是粉红色和可爱的,并不意味着它有任何事要靠我。我在那里说了。

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Tour Time



Hi everyone, Katie here.

烟花并不是每年7月带来的唯一刺激。又是游览时间。这是一年中鼓舞glogirly和gloman从车库天花板上拉下自行车并戴上匹配的红色头盔的时间。实际上,gloman是一位出色的自行车手。他有钢腿。至少他是这样说的。




My favorite parts of the Tour de France are the sunflowers and Bob Roll. Although the riders will sweep through beautiful French fields of sunflowers on just a few of the day's stages, Bob Roll (Bobke to me) is there every single day. Gloman must really like him alot too. Whenever Bobke is on TV, gloman will honor him with an impressive impersonation routine. He'll wear a goofy grin, mispronounce words and flail his hands all around. He just can't seem to get enough of Bobke and his Tour Day France.

BOB ROLL 'BOBKE'
巡回赛法国评论员非凡

BOBKE BACK IN THE DAY


我还在寻找Bobke谈论的所有猫。有Cat 4,Cat 3,Cat 2,Cat 1,甚至还有一个叫Beyond。考虑到Bobke的描述,这只Beyond Cat必须是一只非常凶猛而可怕的猫。但是我还没有看到任何猫。坦白地说,我有点失望。



Saturday, July 4, 2009

Ooooooh, Aaaaaaah!



Hi everyone, Katie here.

今天又是那些不适合猫的假期。考虑到我对咖啡研磨机的声音有些狂热,我相信您可以理解烟花不一定是我的朋友。

从楼上的窗台上可以看到7月4日的烟火,但它恰好在大型的精美计算机上,我不能靠近它。
(我必须在一个笨拙的12英寸小笔记本电脑上写这个博客。Sheesh。)一次,我想看看所有有关烟花的大惊小怪。

与所有这些oooooh和aaaaah一样,它一定是一件非常酷的事情。我只需要运用我的想象力。


Friday, July 3, 2009

Catflexing



Hi everyone, Katie here.

为了保持健康,减轻体重并与自己苗条的身材竞争,glogirly一直在健身房里花费很多时间。我总能说出她什么时候来过,因为她带着湿wet的头发,湿wet的衣服和红脸回家。我是女士,所以我不会对这种气味发表评论。我,我不擅长出汗或运动。
I prefer napping.

I feel ignored with all this working out stuff she's doing. So I've got a strategy. Catflexing. Now I can't take credit for this original approach to fitness. A human named Stephanie made it up. She's even got a book. If glogirly would just start working out with me, she wouldn't need a personal trainer. She wouldn't even need to go to the gym. Think of all the cat toys she could buy me with the money she'd save. Her workouts, just like her life, would revolve around me.



亚马逊的价格为0.01美元,因此我只需要弄清楚如何在线输入glogirly的Visa号码。她永远不会知道是我。


In My Next Life



Hi everyone, Katie here.

当我死后,上帝可能会在珍珠般的大门前向我打招呼,并赞美我过着多么美好的猫生活。
他会对我一直友好和充满爱心感到非常高兴。
甚至对狗人。当然,我偶尔会不适当地发出嘶嘶声。我是一只猫。我只是无法想象我会因天上的价值而被送回地球第二次。但是以防万一,我决定在下辈子里,如果需要的话,我想当女佣或妓女。



你看,我爱床。我爱他们的一切。我喜欢制作它们。我喜欢在其中玩。我爱枕套。我喜欢平整的床单。洗衣日是最好的。这就像一个聚会。当glogirly试图塞进床单时,我喜欢在床单上旋转。我会尽一切可能帮助Glogirly,就像任何好佣人一样。


现在我对妓女了解不多。但是我听说他们在床上花了很多时间。他们得到报酬要上床睡觉。好吧,我花了很多时间躺在床上,还没有看到工资。所以我想在这个领域对我来说可能会有一个未来。




ANOTHER POSSIBILITY: UNDERCOVER AGENT



Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Darn Good Cat



Hi everyone, Katie here.

她今天早上离开时,我有一种不好的感觉。我什至跑了两步,看着她开车离开。事实是,我要她见我。只是有点内地放弃了自己的方式。您知道,glogirly和她的一位爱犬朋友度过了一个下午。这些东西发生之前,我可以闻到。

This time when she came home though, I didn't smell anything suspicious at all. No dog. No cat. No guinea pig. Nothing. Glogirly's friend, we call her hoffy, just lost her little Corgi Girl. Her name was Miss T. Miss T and hoffy were the best of friends. In fact they were a threesome just a few years ago before Tex passed away. Miss T and Tex did everything together. They loved each other very much. Too bad they were dogs, but not everyone can be perfect.



Glogirly and I poke fun at each other and aren't afraid to show our sardonic wit. But I'd really miss her if she went to human heaven and I know she'd miss me if I went to cat heaven. (I can't say as much for gloman.) Once when she was in Maine hiking up to a lighthouse, she tripped over a rock. Just before she said something not suitable for a blog, she realized what it was. A small heart-shaped remembrance of someone's companion and friend. I hope she'll remember me someday as a Darn Good Cat. I also hope she can find a bigger and more impressive rock.


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